my horoscope for today

The transition you are going through is taking its sweet time. This gives you the chance to weigh the possibilities, both good and bad. Choose wisely and then make a firm decision. New opportunities always create new problems. Enjoy life when you can.



i don't think anything could be more correct right now.

worse than, some days i feel i'm losing me. how did it all come to this?

i'm losing you

so on saturday i embark on another chapter of my life. after living away from home for three years at university, returning after my transfer has been fine, but i've never totally gotten used to being back in my parent's house. my older brother had a house with his now ex girlfriend, and she wanted to move out asap so i considered taking her place with the rent. after the last months trials and tribulations, i came to the decision that the smartest move to make was just that - a move. so on saturday i'm moving out officially to live with my big brother. my room is so empty right now, i can't believe i'm closing another chapter in my life. it seems the only way for me to make it through the day to day is to find those milestones in my life to look forward to. every now and then i wish for a 6 month coma, but i know that no matter what the end of all of this is, i will be a stronger person for enduring it. some days i'm great, some days i'm weak, and some days i just pretend - but regardless, i take it as it comes, and i know that eventually everything will work itself out. if it doesn't come out in the rinse, it will in the wash. things have a way of fitting into place, and maybe it isn't what you had planned, maybe you had your life sorted out, maybe you knew what month you'd get married in, knew the names of your kids, knew every single inch of the person you thought you knew, but nothing in life is certain. i suppose the uncertainties are what are supposed to make life worth living? some days i can't believe how bitter and jaded i've become, i can't even stand the sight of a happy couple holding hands. but i'll find that. some days i imagine adoption, i imagine a life with only me, i think of how i'll pass the next sixty years of my life ... but some days, i take a deep breath, i push whatever it is that's creating this pressure in my chest to the back of my mind, and i tell myself that i'll figure it out eventually. each day gets a little easier, the clock ticks a little faster, and i manage to love myself a little more. maybe i'm living a life in denial, i won't honestly disagree with that - but no matter the outcome, each day i take a step forward.

i'm not ready to move on yet, but i am ready to move. get up, get going.

the best diet is a life-shattering break up, apparently.



i've never felt so lost in my life. three years, for what? for everything. i won't give up.

in my third year of university i wrote a paper for my philosophy of art class on the dehumanization of art. following a philosopher by the name of gasset's lead, i looked at dali and picaso and tried to understand why in fact their art is represented the way it is. i specifically chose to look at surrealism



and cubism



i found it so interesting the way that a female can be represented outside of the norm. gasset talked about this type of dehumanization being inspired by an aversion towards the traditional interpretation of reality, a fusion of reality and imagination. today, art is one of two things, literal or abstract (or so it seems), but works, especially that of dali's, still make me think. i'd rather a piece of art let your mind wander, then assume you're supposed to understand some flicks of paint. the dehumanization of art appears to have gone a little too far, to the point where interpretation is everything. wouldn't you like to see something that is supposed to remotely look like something else? but maybe that's the point, the more abstract the more one can make a piece their own. however, how many common folks like us, actually get that experience? just a thought.

so get this, i get a call on friday from my bank and find that someone stole 915.50 from my bank account. i get into the bank yesterday and get a new debit card, and today my credit card company calls me and tells me that someone stole 260 from my credit card on friday, and now i have to wait 2-3 weeks to get a new credit card! unbelievable. i guess that's technology ... allllways finding a way to screw you over.

either way, tomorrow is canada day. boo. it's always so busy at the zoo on canada day. ah well, c'est la vie. enjoy it if you actually have it off!

as was the way with myspace's transition into facebook, it appears livejournal too has finally reached it's demise. so instead of continuously taking the effort to creep my friends on blogger, i finally caved and got one of my very own. i'm also hoping that this attempt at a fresh start might boost me into writing more, not only about my day to day but also to comment more on the world at large. it's funny how one can go from writing day after day for years on end, and then one day they're finally happy ... and suddenly it's gone! and so it is.

but aside from that, i'd like to think that every couple of days i'll want to update on my life in one way or another, so here's hoping.

anyways ...

one of my favourite things to do when i'm staying in for the night is to search the internet for interesting things. to avoid online shopping and spending way too long on facebook and fml, i resort to reading old livejournals and visiting websites from back in the day. one of my faves is foundmagazine.com, which is one of the coolest and most interesting websites i've every stumbled upon. begining as a magazine, then a book, and finally now a website, foundmagazine is, to sum it up, a site in which individuals around the world (or at least the english speaking world) scan and send in little tidbits they've found lying around; may it be photos, scrap papers, or notes from public school days. what i prefer though are the cute notes that without realizing it, are completely thought-provoking. it's funny how sometimes, the little things can mean so much.



that's all for now!